How to Deal with Painful Experiences

If you are a human being of considerable age, you have gone through some painful experience or another. But it is how you deal with these experiences that determines whether you are able to move on and lead a full and happy life, or you stay depressed and live your life in the happier past, or even painful past.

Painful experiences can include anything and everything that can cause you pain as a person. Anything from loss of a loved one to the betrayal by a loved one and everything between is included. We will discuss the most basic steps that will help you get over this pain and be able to move on with your life.

• Denial is bad and should not be encouraged. If something caused you pain, then it is only fitting that you acknowledge feeling the pain. We do not mean you should publicize it as some people are private; we just mean you should admit it to yourself that something is wrong and therefore requires address. Anything less and you are festering poison inside of you.

• Let go and try to forgive. The forgiving part is a little difficult for most people and if it comes, it will be in the long run, but the letting go has to happen soon. This is the key to moving on, as long as you hold onto the past, it will hurt you like it is in the present and you will not be able to move forward.

• Focus your energies on you and not what has caused you pain. Easier said than done, especially when the pain is fresh but one has to try. Focus your energy on useful and productive activities that occupy your mind, and do not leave you time to be idle, because if your mind is empty then those dangerous thoughts will invade it. This is the time to rediscover hobbies, forgotten talents, and maybe take some time off for a vacation.

• It is important that you get rid of the negative elements in your life, especially in the case of betrayal where someone you loved hurts you. Keeping this person around will usually turn into a constant reminder of what they did and until you are fully healed, it is best to limit contact with them. This may seem severe and vengeful but it is the only way to maintain your sanity.

• As you get rid of the negative, surround yourself with positive things and people who love you, especially for those going through loss of a loved one. This can be a tough time and you need all the love you can find, if just to show that there are people out there who have not abandoned you and still love you.

• And finally, try if you can to learn from the experience especially in situations which you could have control over. While some painful experiences we have no say whatsoever in how they happen to us, in others we may have facilitated the cause and therefore can learn what not to do again next time.

As you go through a painful experience it is important to remember that nothing is permanent and that all things change, therefore do not despair, this too will pass. Life is full of ups and downs and our duty as human beings is to live through it, survive and come out at the other end triumphant. Right now it may be hard but without pain we can have no appreciation for joy, so at least you are sure that the next time happiness comes around, you will be able to enjoy it fully.

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