The Advantages of Being Assertive
“I’m an assertive person”. Does this mean that I am aggressive? A precise answer to this is “NO”. Being assertive is completely different from being aggressive. So, now that I’m saying that these terms are poles apart, I would have to explain as to how they are different as well. While asserting on a certain point, a person makes sure that he/she does not violate others rights while trying to remain absolutely positive about his/her own assertion. Aggressiveness is actually the resultant of failing to be assertive which leads to a lot of stress. Let us discuss the positives of being assertive in our communication.
Alright, being assertive is all about being positive about your assertion while not being negative towards the one you are being assertive. So, how can one do this? Let us see-
- one should first identify his/her feelings and express them
- when it comes to expressing, communication skills play a major role and positive communication is a must
- one should know one’s own limitations as well as the other person’s while communicating
- not only communicate openly but listen with the same openness
Calling a spade a spade is nothing wrong but, in this process one should be careful not to hurt the other person in any way. This is when one can reap the benefits of being assertive.
Advantages of Being Assertive
Rids you off aggression. I mentioned earlier that aggressive behavior is in fact the resultant of failing to be aggressive. Let us take an example to explain this. Suppose you do not want to watch this movie which your girlfriend insists on. In an attempt to not say no to her, you end up in the cinema only to suffer what you really can’t watch. This could end up in you and your girlfriend quarrelling and you might end up being the aggressor. Not that there would not be a quarrel when you said no to her in the first place. But that is where assertiveness plays its part. You might quarrel but at least you won’t become aggressive and hurt your relationship.
Confidence booster and a self-esteem builder. Voicing your opinion in a frank manner always wins your fellow mates’ appreciation. Appreciation acts as a confidence booster and those with high confidence have a super self-esteem and you only will have a ‘Yes or No’ as your answer instead of ‘ifs and buts’.
Stressbuster. Most of us are not assertive; this leads to a conflict between our expression and our inner thoughts. There are some situation s when we want to say no but we just can’t (the girlfriend example mentioned above is a classic case). Once we oblige to others without voicing our opinion, there is a conflict within that places a huge burden on our mind and leads to a lot of mental stress. Being assertive eliminates this stress scenario completely.
No doubt, being assertive has its rewards. But like everything else on this planet it has its critics as well. So, judge the situation and mitigate your assertion.