Attention Disorder can Affect Marriage

Does your wife or husband continuously forget chores? Does she/he seem absent-minded? Do you feel you are living with a child, and not an adult? If the answer is yes to the above questions, your marriage might be affected by Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

ADHD Symptoms
Health experts say attention problems can affect relationships. ADHD is characterized by symptoms such as forgetfulness, disorganization and distraction. These symptoms can be mistaken as lack of concern and love, selfishness and laziness.

Incidence of ADHD
About 4 percent of the adult population has this disorder. About 50% of children who suffer from ADHD do not outgrow it when they become adults. In fact, many children do not even receive proper diagnosis of this disorder.

Effect of ADHD on Marriage
Adults with ADHD manage to cope at work, but often struggle in their marriage and at home. They tend to become distracted, which leads to conflict with their spouse. Adults with ADHD are twice more likely to get divorced. A study revealed that there is a high level of distress in about 60 percent of marriages if one spouse has ADHD.

However, most married couples are not aware that ADHD is affecting their marriage. Marriages can be impacted since the spouse with ADHD often forgets to pay bills or pick up children from school. He/she may ignore his/her spouse and focus on video games or work projects. The other spouse then has to resort to nagging to ensure things are done properly.

Meanwhile, the spouse with ADHD is often unaware of his/her errors, and ends up confused by the anger shown by his/her partner. The repercussions of this misunderstanding may overwhelm the ADHD-affected spouse, who starts taking recourse to video or computer games, aggravating the situation.

Tips to Deal with ADHD
Medications cannot solve marriage issues. But, talk therapy can help undo years of resentment. Coping strategies and behavioral therapy can be helpful to both partners. ADHD-affected partners can maintain cards with a single task mentioned on them, to stay focused. The advantage of this tactic is that they won’t be overwhelmed by long work lists.

An ADHD-affected Marriage
Both spouses have to realize that ADHD can take a real toll on their marriage. Lack of understanding and trust can be huge problems to surmount. One spouse confided that his ADHD-affected wife made him feel there was an extra child in the family. He is exhausted by going to work, caring for his wife and children, and also managing the finances and household. However, this couple is undergoing therapy and counseling and are hopeful about sorting out the various issues.

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