The 10 Commandments for a Better Marriage
Someone once said, “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” On a more serious note, marriage, like any other relationship, requires commitment and effort.
Ten commandments for a better marriage
Thou shalt watch thy body language: You would be amazed to know that around 92% of our communication is through our body language and voice and only 8% is verbal communication. So, watch out your words as well as body language when communicating.
Thou shalt be an active listener: Most of the times, we listen not active listen. The crux of understanding the other person is to try to fathom the essence of the message. So, the next time your partner tells you something, take it at the face value. Do not try to add your meaning to it.
Thou shalt act; not react: When we react, the result is almost always negative; whereas when we act the outcome will, in all probability, be positive. We think before we act and, on the other hand, we react and then we think. Which one sounds better?
Thou shalt use “I” during criticism: When we start the criticism with “I feel …” (like “I feel you should give me more time.”) instead of “You do not …”,(say, “You don’t give me time.”) we tend to tone down the negative feedback. In doing so, the other person will not get defensive and take the constructive criticism in the right spirit.
Thou shalt give space: We are likely to feel intimidated in a claustrophobic relationship. Giving space means you care about your partner as well as his/her individuality.
Thou shalt not take thy partner for granted: Thank him for dropping you at work. Show gratitude when she washes your dirty laundry. Not appreciating the kind and thoughtful gestures is a sure-shot way to ruin any healthy relationship.
Thou shalt be honest: As Michelle Obama once said, “One of the things that attracted me to Barack was his emotional honesty.” A true relationship demands genuine intentions and truthful approach. Being honest does not amount to being brutally blunt. It is about saying the most bitter truth in a thoughtful way.
Thou shalt put thyself in the other’s shoes: Billy Connelly rightly said, “Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes”. Once we place ourselves in other people’s position we can comprehend things from their perspective and get a clearer idea of the situation.
Thou shalt concentrate on the positives: The problem starts when we start focusing too much on the negatives rather than the positives. Whatever you give attention to, you get more of it. So, decide what you really want.
Thou shalt be accommodating: We don’t want you to compromise, we want you to accommodate. Compromise is to completely give up what is important to you. However, accommodate is to make room for the lesser appealing aspects of the other person.